Ok I kept forgetting my blog but I still remember urs an. Lol. 2016. The last post which you update was in 2011. 5yrs ago. Woah. At the back of my mind, all these felt like yesterday. I just pray that you and you son, Andi are doing very well.. Aliysha will always be missed. I wonder if you still exists. Lol. I mean I wonder if you stil check out ur blog.still active in this cyberworld. which i hardly doubt. Knowing you would always change ur emails etc etc. But I strongly hoping that one day ur mind would just *poof* brings you back to your blog. I hope it would be that easy for me to just let it go.

I should have went to see aliysha. The only thing that stopped me because I wasn't convinced. Funny how i feel that sometimes i felt that you were him and that he doesn't exists. But yet, i have seen him. Confusing isn't it. Now you tell me. Haha. The way you text at times does remind me of him. Ohh no.. Im confused. Lol. The other thing was because I couldn't see myself standing between you and your ex wife. It's weird that i know her and she know my past. Funny how it used to be him, you and i. Suddenly she's part of the picture. I feel that she's manipulating the situation. Or should i say that i feel that I'm being manipulated.

How envied I used to get knowing that she knows how i felt and yet she gets to spend the time with you and him. Spending the time as in, hanging out, talking face to face with you guys. I wish I would have run down to see you guys,. Wait I did. I waited for him for 6hrs and he didn't show up. I waited for the half evening and he told me to go home, instead I went out with another guy because I was way too pissed. I went down to the hospital and there wasn't anyone to reply my texts or calls. I went down to see you and Andi and how suddenly you went missing. I just wish you guys didn't took me for granted. I wish you guys could just ease my burden by having some decency to commit to meet me. i wish I was at her place. Yet, i keep telling myself that I want the truth. Nothing more than the whole heart throbbing truth. Sound kind of drama isn't. Trust me to know the truth is torturing. Just kill me instead. It would have been a lot easier. Hence why I decided to put it to a stop, bullshitting. Its too much. Not that I don't love you. But I needed to see you. I needed that answers which I been yearning for.

Till today, I just want to say that Im sorry and if Allah swt permits I would really love to sit down with you an and talk. Otherwise I would want to meet the 3 of you in the akhirat.

Till we meet again. Take care now.