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Friday, April 16, 2010
Out of place.
 Dear Diary, Im confused. I hate to feel this way.. All mixedup feelings tying to figure out this untangle thread.Urgghh...i really do.. I really wanna go to somewhere where i can just have space,silence n myself. .soul-searching. . Its has been really pathetic 2 prolong this.. Well i hope to spent some quite moments this weekend w my bff. .we need major catching up urgently! Oh god.Give me the strength,will to go through this.. I canT wait 4 e moment i break into this surrounding.. Cause i know something GREAT is waiting for me to grab it. But i feel so trashed,misplaced right now. I need to break this. I got to retaliate. Balle balle huny! Jy2!! u can do it. have faith,be strong n i know i can make it through.. god's willing.. itzHuNy♥.. Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me.
++ quoth Unknown at 12:04 AM Sunday, April 11, 2010
Greatest silence
 Dear Diary, I cant deny it. I still ant move on. Im still pondering over Saiful.. I miss him. I miss a lot.N its killing me. 1st April was supposed to be his 24th bdae.. But hedidnt make to that point.. Well.. Wad was i doing on 1st April.. I slog my time to full shift work.. So that i wouldnt think n crying much.. I EXHAUST myself..bcuz i dont 1 2 cry.. A few days ltr, i broke down. I cant hold e silence much futher.. I just burst maself crying..sigh.. i dont know..its really hard 4 me 2 move on.. Hes my 1st love..n i was his last love.. how can i 4get my 1st love? i cant imagine it end in such tragedy.. When i broke down.. Everything flashes in my mind.. Hw we met. Hw much we used to argue. hw very close n comfortble we were.. 2 name a few..Most how much i miss his presence.. I just wish he wud b here w me.. wad does it take 4 me to meet u again Saiful? i now i got to move on.. i am..but slowly.. Every happy couples will remind me u.. Every newly-wed will remind me on how much we plan n look forward to be ours. I just shut maself to every guy that try 2 win my heart.. its not ez.. There will be no another saiful..there this particular guy that i actually like.. ( i mentioned him in previous post).He rejected me once. N he's back again.. But then.. I will just follow e flow N not readin much into it.. Im sure Saiful wud 1 me 2 fall 4 a guy like him. ;)) He can make me happy just like Saiful did..N guide n be firm w me. I like him. I really do. I dun mind if i have to wait. Saiful wud owaes be e 1 dat i wud neva forget. . so does dz guy.. bcux he's special. ;)) I will always remember the way Saiful love,hurt n take care of me.. I love you Saiful.. I really do 2 e bottom of my deepst heart.. No one can tell me how we felt. No one can feel the love that we resist n fought. No one can say we didnt exist. I love you is what i feel for you. . I love you. & i will always do.. Death really do us apart.. Love, HuNy Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me.
++ quoth Unknown at 2:29 AM |
